MAN is a compound of absurdities; and his foibles have supplied abundant materials for the satirists and humourists of all ages. Many besides Democritus have ridiculed his follies, and laughed at his inconsistencies. It might open a fountain of bitter waters to a weeping philosopher, to reflect that, amidst the improvements of successive ages in art and science, and notwithstanding the vast increase of information which characterizes the present times, human wisdom has by no means kept pace with this general improvement. Superstition has vanished before the light of reason; the clouds of ignorance have been dispelled by the sun of knowledge; and tyranny has met its death-blow from the hand of liberty; but man still remains the same foolish inconsistent creature that he has ever been. To look into the world, and there to see caprice and folly walking hand in hand with the lords and ladies of creation, is enough to make us weep and laugh in turns; to act in one breath the laughing and the crying sage.

The ancient satirists lashed with unsparing pen the vices and follies of their contemporaries. And though the wit of an Aristophanes, and the severe invectives of a Juvenal were disgraced with vulgarities and indecencies not to be tolerated in these days. of refinement, yet there was a pungency and boldness in their satire, which dragged into broad daylight the vicious and depraved, and exposed them to public scorn, with a label of their names, their lineage, and crimes. A Cleon was unceremoniously introduced upon the stage, and a catalogue of his misdeeds exhibited to an indignant populace. The peace and interests of society no longer permit such personal allusions. The manners and

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morals of mankind are improved, and human nature ceases to be stained by crimes which branded with infamy the ages of heroic Greece, and patriotic Rome. Yet folly, in varied form and feature, is still seen to wander in the mazes of society; and, though a constant butt for wit's shafts, like the fabled hydra, no sooner is one head destroyed, than a second in its place appears. Nay, like the polypus, mutilations seem but to multiply its growth, and each severed portion, in time, becomes a perfect whole.

Not, therefore, with the most distant hope of annihilation is this polypus of folly here assailed. The attempt is merely to shew some traits in the natural history of the creature, and to the curious in the study of mankind, to point out some peculiarities in this lusus naturæ. No age was ever more remarkable than the present for the fashion of pretensions. The general diffusion of knowledge, although a public blessing, has been productive of not a few pretenders in its paths. It is true, the cause of the evil supplies the antidote; and though a little knowledge is apt to engender presumption and foster vanity, the universality of liberal education is admirably calculated to unveil imposture, and silence arrogance. It is a subject of every day surprise to the observer of character, to notice the blind infatuation of some persons, who, not content to remain in the situations where Providence and circumstances have placed them, avail themselves of every accidental opportunity to seize a momentary gratification, by the assumption of a character above their own. Imagine yourself the inside passenger of a stage coach, and you may perchance find seated by you, a lady "extremely unaccustomed to this mode of travelling; its motion is so very different from that of a carriage." Your curiosity is excited to discover with whose company you have been honoured; and, behold! it was a lady's maid's! In the opposite corner of the same vehicle, is a smart prig of a coxcomb, with his chin sunk three inches deep in cravat and collar, as if firmly fixed in plaster of Paris. He deigns not to join the converse of his fellow-travellers; but with provoking effeminacy draws off his kid glove, and displays his snow-white hand, diamond ring, and silver snuff box; or, perhaps, squints through the glass, suspended round his neck, as if unconscious of the action from frequent habit. The actor of this part, is a seller of pomatum, bear's grease, or otto of roses, the traveller of a

vender of patent medicines, or of a London barber. Seek the interior of the inn, and while the horses are changing, warm yourself over the fire. Another class of pretenders will be presented to you: the vociferous profane swearer, who thinks gentility is measured by the profligacy and number of his oaths. Do not suppose that a love of swearing, a pleasure in the thing itself, is the sole cause of this depravity-no, no; he imagines himself some great one; and when he lets off a volley of oaths, he wishes you to believe it exalted language; and he considers this a substitute for a long display of titles, honours, and respectability! A melancholy reflection belongs to this. Did no realities exist, there would be no imitators. But the most ludicrous part of the comedy is, when two, equally desirous of temporary distinction, play into each other's hands, and enter into conversation for the mere purpose of informing a third party, and a stranger, who, and what they are, whence they came, and whither they are going. And this tête a tête, with perhaps a few shreds of truth for connexion, is uttered in such equivocal and lofty terms, that you are in danger of shrinking into nothingness in such respectable company. A stage coach is not, however, the only place for the display of upstart consequence. Every rank in life is replete with instances of this description.

It is pleasant to behold these children of vanity sometimes entangled in the toils of their own pretension. Without a hole for exit or escape, they wildly wander round the labyrinth of thought, till weary, faint, and senseless, they fall asleep in the arms of insignificance.

Several years ago, on the occasion of a lunar eclipse, a family in the country sat up to witness this natural phenomenon. A visitor made one of the party, whose demeanour manifested extraordinary pretensions. Various subjects engaged the passing hours; and it was perfectly natural that as the time of obscuration drew nigh, the changes, occultations, and wonders of the starry concave, should be the theme of conversation. Our hero thus began "I was returning from a party late one evening, and gazing on the spangled field of light above, when it suddenly occurred to me that, on that very night, a transit of Aldebaran over the moon was to take place. Scarcely had the thought crossed my mind, before I perceived a well defined black spot on the face of the planets, and I congratulated myself on the ready

recollection and astronomical knowledge which directed me so opportunely to so pleasing and wonderful a sight." "Pray Mr. -" said a young auditor of this astronomical lecture, "will you inform us, by what miracle a fixed star, which is thousands of miles farther from the earth than the moon is, could leave its place in the universe, and for your amusement dance between the earth and the moon." The astronomer was silent, and never resumed the subject of transits.

Human vanity is the hot-bed in which these abortions of reason are raised, and self complacency and ignorance nurse and nourish the plants, until the full grown leaves of folly over-shadow the ground, and impoverish the soil, where, with proper cultivation, usefulness and respectability might have flourished. The above pretenders to consequence, are a harmless race, their assumed airs, and brief reign of conceit afford amusement to their casual companions, without injuring the community. But not so with all pretenders. Some persons mistaking their talents, and over-rating their acquirements obtrude themselves into situations which they are totally incompetent to fill. Such characters remind us of the "frog and the ox." They are perpetually puffing themselves up, and inquiring of their relatives and friends, whether they do not visibly increase in magnitude. Not unfrequently a similar catastrophe to that of their aquatic prototype terminates their endeavours. But men placed in situations, to which they are incompetent, must inflict innumerable evils on society. Every station has its peculiar and indispensable duties, and society receives benefit or injury proportioned to the abilities of the occupant. And here it is that pretensions vitally affect the interests of the whole community. Injuries of a two-fold nature are inflicted. A deception and fraud is practised on the public by the mal-performance or entire neglect of duties expected and the unassuming sons and daughters of merit are often excluded from the situations for which their talents qualify them, although the natural modesty of worth prevents them from asserting their rights.

Specimens of this kind are but too numerous, and were it not a profanation, censure might sometimes mount the pulpit, and laying her finger on the shoulder of the minister, in a whisper ask," art thou duly qualified to be a teacher in the land of Israel, and rightly to divide to listening hundreds the words of

everlasting life!" Conscience would doubtless answer this inquiry truly; but like the question it would be in whispers. Candour, therefore must imagine it; she alas! and her twin sister charity, with all her mild long suffering virtues could only hope a favourable reply. Hungry souls still craving, and unsatisfied; minds uninstructed, yet desiring information testify that "men gather not grapes of thorns, nor figs of thistles." Again-should scrutiny ramble within the precincts of education, hold converse with the professors of the birch, and publish to the world the results of her investigation, too often it would be a volume of meagre false pretension, and should this damsel, in her rambles, catch a cold or fever, and seek the aid of some loud talking son of Esculapius, the chances are against her, that she would ever be permitted to reveal, how he listened to her tale of symptoms and promised a speedy and a certain cure. An epitaph and coffin would be her fate, and end her penchant for inquiry.

No longer would she then be able to pursue her course of examination; or in the varied walks of public and private life she might find pretensions

"Thick as autumnal leaves that strew the brooks
In Vallombrosa."

ORSERVATOR.

THE DAWN OF THE YEAR.

It is a great pleasure at the dawn of the year, to contemplate the first revival of nature; to see her throwing off the torpor of her wintry sleep, and preparing for the active business of the year: We, certainly, have had very little "Dead Winter" for some time, but still there is a lifelessness attendant on the period of the winter solstice, that renders the earliest peep of spring, inexpressibly delightful.

We would not pretend to remind the practised Naturalist, of any of the signs of the season; but to those who are professionally incarcerated in the city, we would "throw out a few lines," to inveigle them into the fields, that they may see and feel for themselves, the beauty of nature.

We will suppose one of these to "have taken the bait" and to have accompanied us till we have lost all hearing of the city,