My mother requires almost constant attention. For me to leave the home, our home, I really can't plan to do it for more than an hour because that would be about the extent of time that she could be safely home alone.

This past fall I was reaching a point where I really wasn't sure if I was going to be able to continue to do this. Although I hated the thought of having my mother go to a nursing home facility, it was becoming too much of a strain on all of us. It was at that time that I remembered Barbara Wolfson and some of the programs that she had mentioned.

I called her, and she has been wonderful to us. She sent us all of the information that we needed to establish my mother's eligibility for statewide care. She met with my mother and with me, and she designed a program that would best suit our needs, which was time for us as a family to be together.

The plan is that for 6 hours every other Saturday we have a visiting homemaker from Visting Homemaker of Ocean County. I am sure my children can testify to this better than I can, that these are the best 12 hours of the month for us. It is a chance for use to do simple things that other families take for granted, like going bowling or going to a movie together, which otherwise we just aren't able to do. It is also great for my mother because she has someone there who spends 6 solid hours with her. She can tell this person whatever she wants. She goes over old pictures, and it's a wonderful time for her. It relieves the guilt that I would feel in leaving her. Certainly I couldn't leave her alone, but it helps me, helps the children, and helps my mother, and we will be eternally grateful to the program for giving us this time.

Senator BRADLEY. Thank you very much, Ms. Wagenblast.
Margaret Bodrucki.

[The prepared statement of Ms. Wagenblast follows:]

OUR EXPERIENCE WITH STATEWIDE RESPITE CARE

IN SUPPORT OF STATEWIDE RESPITE CARE

I have been asked to participate on this panel for statewide respite care because I represent those individuals who have been labeled "sandwich caregivers." To earn this title, one must be sandwiched between young children and an elderly, often dependent parent. In my particular case I have three children, ages 5, 7, and 9, and my mother, who is 79 and a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. I also have an extremely patient, loving husband who added on a room and bath for my mother and who has aided and supported me in my efforts to provide care for her and keep our family running as normally as possible.

I first learned of statewide respite three years ago when I attended an Alzheimer Caregivers meeting led by Barbara Wolfson of the Ocean County Board of Social Service My mother had just been diagnosed as having Alzheimer's Disease, and I had gone to the meeting hoping to learn how to better care for her. What I found was quite different - a group of people suffering great emotional pain and physical exhaustion, who met not so much to talk about caring for their loved ones, but rather how to survive themselves from day to day. My mother had not reached that stage of the disease, and I could not identify with those caregivers' needs or share their desperation, born of sorrow, pain, guilt, and anger. When I casually mentioned that I would one day have my mother move in with us, there was a unanimous rejection of the plan. They all felt it would be a mistake and be too damaging to my family. I didn't understand that then, and so I felt no need to look into the programs they discussed that might in the future be valuable to my mother and to me. I believed I could handle it all by myself, with the help of my family.

Over the past three years, much has changed. Two years ago, my mother came to live with us, just as I had planned. She could no longer dress herself, prepare the simplest meal, or remember where she lived. Since then, she has experienced a slow but steady decline, which has left her a very different person than the mother I have loved so much. At times she forgets who we are, or who she Even the tasks that are performed by most of us without even consciously thinking about, she has no idea how to do or why. is not unusual for her to ask me the same question twenty times in one day. This is a cruel disease that destroys a person's very being and alters the way we feel about her. My heart aches for her and for our family.

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Overall, my children have been amazingly good and kind through it all. They understand that it is the illness that leads their grammy to act the way she does and to say the things she does. still love her, and I know that she loves them. However, that doesn't make it any easier when I have to take important time away from my husband and children to care for my mother. family accustomed to doing everything together and supporting one another in our activities, ranging from sports to church. Since my mother can no longer be left alone for more than an hour, either my husband or I must stay home. Simple family outings like going to a movie, going bowling, spending a day at the beach none of these are possible. To go away for a weekend is a distant dream. After a while the pressure and emotional strain become almost unbearable.

This past fall, I reached the point where I felt that I had lost control of our lives and that I could not continue to care for my mother at the expense of my children. I find it difficult to even think about having my mother in a nursing home, but I was nearing that decision. It was at that point that I remembered Barbara Wolfson, and I called her and asked for help. She was and continues to be wonderful to us. She provided the necessary forms to determine if my mother is eligible for respite care, which she is, she met with my mother and me to decide what program of care would best suit our needs, and she contacted Visiting Homemakers Service of Ocean County to provide a caregiver for us on two Saturdays a month for six hours each. This has been the answer to our prayers. Not only do we have this free time to look forward to when we can leave the house with a free mind, but also, my mother loves having the caregiver and thinks of her as a dear friend whom she can have all to herself. It has brought joy to us all, and it has given me the break I needed, so that I can continue to care for my mother at home. It is a blessing for which we will always be thankful.

There are so many across our state and our country who are in similar or far worse situations than we are. People who want to care for their loved ones, but who need a little help and a little hope. If we in our country wish to support the family unit, then we must be willing to provide some assistance. If Alzheimer's Disease strikes as many people as predicted in the coming decades, we will have an unbelievable shortage of nursing home care. How much better for everyone if we can keep these loved ones at home, and how much less costly, too. Sometimes just a few hours of relief a week can mean so much. I truly hope that Statewide Respite andother similar programs can be strengthened and expanded to reach others in need and to let them know that they are not forgotten.

Dear Senator Bradley,

While I was typing my own account, my children decided to write
their own reasons as to why they like having Marie, our homemaker
provided by the statewide respite program. I thought you might like
to hear what they have to say, too. They will be attending the panel
discussion and are very excited about seeing you, especially Scott,
who hopes you can give him some pointers in basketball!
Thank you
for being concerned and aware of the needs of others.

Sincerely yours,

Meredith Hagenblast

I like Marie coming because she gives us time to spend

with

my

my mom, My mom is nicer it the has had a good day with grandma. She can come to my soccer gamest base ball. We aren't late to important things when shes there.

from,
Scott

I like having marie because we I like having get to go out as a we get to go family and do things +: jother,

we coudn't do if Grammy was home alone. And also it gives my mom a chance to have a break from having to

take care
care of Grammy.

Katie

Movie because ith the family

Megan

STATEMENT OF MARGARET BODRUCKI, MOTHER AND

CAREGIVER OF DAUGHTER, CHERYL

Ms. BODRUCKI. Thank you, Senator Bradley. I hope this will somehow help your cause.

I am the caregiver for a physically disabled 37-year-old girl who has both Lupus and Multiple Sclerosis. Her Multiple Sclerosis is into the advanced stages. She has been confined to a wheelchair or a bed for the last 8 years.

Until Barbara Wolfson told us about Respite Care, my husband and I were the chief caregivers. You need two people with this girl at all times. Until we got into Respite Care, my husband and I had absolutely no social life whatsoever. With Respite Care, he and I now have-not a lot, but we have a home health aide that comes in 4 hours a day once a week, which means that for the first time in many years he and I can do little things, like maybe lunch together, go shopping together, take a walk on the beach, the things that other people take for granted, but when you haven't done normal things for such a long time they become very precious times.

As far as my daughter is concerned, she was basically living the life of a senior citizen because most of the guests we had in our house were people the age of my husband and myself. She never had any outside contact with people her age. The aides coming in, are her age. My daughter, incidentally, has a college degree, and one of the aides we have coming in has the same major in college, so those two really have a lot to talk about.

It has been a great boon to her spirits to have these people coming in, and it has been a blessing to my husband and me because we can share a few things together that we hadn't been able to do for a long time.

Senator BRADLEY. Thank you very much, Ms. Bodrucki.
Now, Ms. Ferrugiaro.

STATEMENT OF ANN FERRUGIARO, DAUGHTER AND CAREGIVER
OF HER MOTHER, KATHERINE

Ms. FERRUGIARO. Thank you, Senator, for coming to listen to us today.

My case is similar to so many. I had to leave my job to take care of my mother. She is a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

I moved to Toms River in 1986 to take care of her; she had gotten to the point where she was not able to do things for herself. Coming down here, I didn't know anyone and thought, "What do I do?" I called the Ocean County Office on Aging to see if they could give me any help. I explained to them how I had come down and why I was here. They very kindly referred me to the Visiting Homemaker Service of Ocean County. They were able to provide respite care service for about 3 hours a week. That was a big help, I was able to get out and do food shopping and take care of my own appointments.

Then about a month or two later I saw an article in a local newspaper about a support group sponsored by the Ocean County Board of Social Services guided by Barbara Wolfson. So I called them, and she said, "Please come and attend one of my meetings and we'll tell you all about it," which I did, and it was wonderful. I met the

people and joined the group. We were able to share our feelings and how we were coping. We began to feel less lonely and desperate.

Then in the spring of 1988 I was told about the New Jersey Respite Care Pilot Project, which was really great, because then I enrolled my mother into a day care center. She started by attending 2 days a week, and then went into 4 days. Another wonderful part of that program is that I was able to get 2 full weeks of freedom because the pilot project was able to place her into a nursing facility. This was part of the program and it was great. Twenty-four hours a day mean many sleepless nights. My mother would get up and wander around.

It is imperative that this program be continued for the sake of all caregivers.

Thank you very much.

[The prepared statement of Ms. Ferrugiaro follows:]