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Beauties of the Inuendo. himself within the precincts of cer- times are very hard intirely-intirelytain places appointed for the enter- plase your oner from tainment of gentlemen who under- your oner's sarvent to comand, stand the conjugation of the verb
Timotheus Kinnealy. emprunter” better than “
the woman hopes the eggs wil come handy we do not address our letters
to the young mistris out of her confinement. “ Blank Blank, Esq. White Cross
-tuseday mornin. street,' « Blank Blank, Esq.
This delicate and courteous episKing's Bench," we substitute the tle produced nothing less than the more elegant addresses “Spencer's object it aimed at. A torrent of Hotel,” and “ Abbot's Priory," with- abuse formed the gentleman's answer. out the risk of being misunderstood I was standing by his side while he by the twopenny post.
wrote, and as I saw the grievous The modest Inuendo, as indeed is phrases glide from his pen-uttered the case with the modest every thing a psha! of something like reproof-is calculated to do the practiser a
« Damn the fool!” was his replymischief, at least I remember to have “ he has put his neck down and I seen it attended by such result.
will tread on it.” It silenced me at It is notorious how very shamelessly once, for (this was in the summer of that unfortunate race of demi-more 21) a very general and prophetic aptals, ycleped tailors, are sometimes plication of the thing flashed upon treated by those who make it the my mind. business of their existence to set up
There is another species of the the statue of gentility without being modest Inuendo, or hint, which does provided with the necessary pedestal, not perhaps originate precisely in the and who in consequence suffer it same feeling, nor is it quite so deleto stand on the shoulders of butchers, terious in its consequences; but it is bakers, boot-makers, and the knights doubtless very amiable, notwithof the thimble aforesaid, who are standing. The
gentleman assures you kind enough
he will not affect the so and so of
such a person, nor the so and so of To take into their need a smile from hope such a one, because, even if he had And wait, in coldness, its fruition. those pretensions (what a delightful
inuendo !) it would not be considered But if this be sometimes the fate perfectly modest in him openly to of a London tailor, what must he say so. There has been a pleasant have to expect who stitches for the instance of this order “ about town” trunks of Irish country gentlemen, lately, who, to do them justice, cannot num- For the last-heaven help the ber amongst their failings that of a while !-we are not at a loss for incowardly eagerness to get rid of their stances or uses. It is the keystone creditors. One of these poor devils and the corner stone of what is called had a bill of three years' standing -scandal “ in the vulgar,” that very against a neighbour of his, a genteel pleasant occupation which makes well doing “middleman;" at length, Time shake his pinions more fleetly driven to desperation by want of over the heads of women and womanmoney, he took the daring resolution ish men. But wait until next session to apply for his debt, and actually —slip your half-crown into the doorsent him (with a basket of eggs) the keeper's hand, creep up, and poke following letter:
your phiz into the gallery, then look please your oner,
round and listen, until you have hoping your oner wont be displeasd at caught a speaker on his legs—a man my boldness and I send a little basket of with a sharp nose, close set eyes, gaeggs-good fresh eggs—and they were
thering brow, &c. &c. and I lay you lade by the little black hen that's three yeer any wager you please, that in a few ould come Michaelmas ev the day that I minutes you plead guilty to having sent home your oner's shute-and the seen a genius in this class.
S. D. S.
Pavet arduam viam.
(Phelim O'Flinn, my Schoolmaster.) MR. What's-your-name.--I am a this:- I don't like at all at all this prince by descent and a pavior by new-fashioned out-of-the-way way profession. True, I am a foreigner of paving the streets with jackstones. and barbarian,—for I come from Ire- Who ever saw a street covered with land, - but there is blood in my veins gun-flints by way of pavement? which heretofore ran riot up and This is pretty wig-making! I supdown the O'Rourkes and O'Shaugh- pose the next thing we'll do is to nessies. Milesius was my great spread them with Turkey carpets grandfather forty times removed, and that our old duchesses and demy great-grandmother of the same bauchees may trundle along to the generation was cousin by-the-button. Parliament House and the Opera hole to O'Connor, progenitor and pro- without shaking themselves to pieces propagator of the present great Ro- a season too soon! O give me the ger O'Connor of Dangan Castle, who sweet little pebblement of my own was found innocent of robbing the native city in Shamrockshire-Duhe mail a few years ago, when the lin! Major-Taylorization against Orangemen were in want of a head Macadamization any day !+ Where to adorn King William's lamp-post the jingles totter over the streets like at the Anniversary of the Boyne boats on a river of paving stones ! # Water. Thus, Mr. Thingumbob, you Up and down! right and left! Hosee though I do fillip the paving- henlo! toss'd hither and thither! stones with a three-manbeetle, from pebble to puddle! from gully though I do peg a few pebbles every to gutter ! —Splish splash! there day into the scull of our old Mother they go! while the Rawney s leers Earth (alma tellus, as Phelim used to through one of his dead-lights back call her),– I really was born to a at Mr. Paddy O'Phaeton, Paddy for royal rattle. Excuse alliteration, lack of a lash applies his perpetual Mr. Blank; I am not only a prince toe to Rawney's abutment, and the and a pavior, but a poet. I broke lob within sits on his knuckles to half the panes in the province of keep his breeches from wearing out Leinster scribbling amatory verses, the cushions that feel as if stuffed epigrams, and epitaphs on Miss Kitty with potatoes ! - That's something M-Fun, with a glazier's diamond like jaunting; a man feels that he's that I stole from my uncle ; I wrote getting the worth of his money. all the best lines in the “ Emerald But to slidder over the arable like a Isle" (all the bad ones were written Laplander in a sledge,-to have your by Counsellor Phillips), and I gave streets as smooth and soaporiferous as Tom Moore more hints for Thomas a schoolboy's phyzzonomy,–Booh! Little's poems than either of this I'd as soon tumble down Greenwich duet of gentlemen ever had the de- Hill with a feather-bed for my partner! cency to thank me for. But this is
Will you lend me the loan of a all bother. What I want to say is page or so in your “ truly excellent
• 'Twas my mother's foster-brother wrote “ The Groves of Blarney;" her maiden name was Kelly, and she is the identical she of whom the author says
And av you would see sweet Mabel Kelly,
No nightingull sings half more brightwhich is the true reading.
† Major Taylor, Paving-Master General to the City of Dublin. He also makes darkness visible at night, being Lamplighter-General.
# Jingles, one-horse wooden baskets, upon three wheels, and another on Sundays. Ś Corrupted from the paternal Spanish-Rosinante, we suppose.---Ed.
and widely-circulating" periodical, do the latter without the help of Mr. What-ever-your-name-is, to paving stones. When the Duchess make this case properly public ? Sure, of Devilment's barouche and four I know you will! Besides the rattled down Regent-street pombeauty and gentility of pebblement melling the pebblement, and knockwhich I have already noticed, I have ing fire from the flints, with her two or three observations to make in full-bottomed, flour-pated, rosyits favour which I'd thank any Mac- nosed, three-cocked-hat-covered adamite between this and himself to coachman joggling from side to side
I'll make him eat, --not a of his box, and her silk-stocking'd, potatoe,– but a paving-stone if he sleek-cheek’d, sly-eyed brace of lidoesn't confess himself knocked down verymen bumping and bobbing up by the arguments I've brought to and down on the footboard as the silence him.
vehicle chattered along ; then indeed Firstly and foremost. I, and the was the Duchess of Devilment somerest of us, that is, all who live at thing more in our eyes than a mopresent upon paving-stones, must ther-ape in petticoats ; then indeed now begin to starve with all pos. was she heard and seen, though persible alacrity upon nothing. Irisha haps neither felt nor understood ;-in men can't live like cameleopards short, she was somebody. But now, upon air, no more than Englishmen if the King himself were to sweep on potato and point. But if the from Carlton House to the Crescent streets are to be thrown holus-bolus we should think him little better into the hands of nobody but stone than a biped like one of ourselves! crackers and levellers, what is to Thirdly and foremost. I see nobecome of the professors of the noble thing the Macadamites have brought Art of Paving,-me and the rest of with them in exchange for our us? Or does Mr. Macadam (the son paving-stones but dust in one hand of an original sinner!) think we'll and dirt in the other. If the new dishonour the cloth by turving ma- system of streetification goes on, nufacturers of jack-stones and sho- London will shortly be nothing but a vellers of shingles? Does he think criss-cross of high-roads, and the (the sand-piper !) that gentlemen of houses will be worse than so many the paving-profession will descend to citizens' country boxes, built on the get up on a little heap of pebbles brink of the roadside, and enveloped and keep cracking there all day for like the Lord Chancellor's head in a his honour's advantage ?-Och the wig-full of dust and confusion. In gander! He knows a little less than summer the street walkers and flagnothing if he thinks to bamboozle us hoppers of every description and de in this way!
nomination will be covered from Secondly and foremost. The no- head to foot with surtouts a la poudre, bility and gentry will be no such and look like a population of millers gainers after all by exploding the just turned loose from the hopperpebblement-system. We all know loft. In winter they will be over the that every one is thought of exactly boots in mud and slip-slop; they'll in proportion to the noise she or he be as cleanly bespattered as if they makes in the world. Now if my had stood the brunt of Fleet-market lady this and my lord that, are in the pillory; they'll be taken by to whistle through the city as softly the pigeons, tailors, peripatetic caas Mr. Macadam would make them, terwaulers, and all the other odd fish without kicking up a continual row that frequent the house-tops, for noin their carriages, why they'll never thing but gigantic gutter-snipes and be heard of! But they can never magnified mud-larks!+ And our rows
* Our correspondent probably forgets the exact distinction between cameleopards and cameleons ; he, however, we think, fully supports the national character, as given by Hudibras
As learned as the Wild Irish are.-Ed. + Gutter-snipes and mud-larks, poetical names for pigs, in Ireland. We do not profess to know the precise difference between them. Our learned correspondent perhaps only makes use of the rhetorical figure--pleonasmus, to fill up his period. Ed.
of shoppery too! Why they'll be or “Beg your pardon"? Or do we filled to the tip-top shelf with whirl- expect an old woman to run like a winds of powdered jackstones ! rib- lamplighter when she sees the pole of bons and bobbins, laces and braces, a carriage within an inch of her caps and traps, petticoats and waist- beard? or to skip like a hen on a hot coats, all their paraphernalia and griddle when she feels a couple of strumpetry, tag-rag-merry-derry-pe- coach-horses treading on her" toes, riwig-and-hatband, will be dredged and perhaps whipping off her wig with ground-pepper dust! and the like hay from a pitch-fork? Even prentices within will be choaked ex- with all the “ notes of preparation tempore before they can whistle Jack which paving stones could give, our Robinson!—'Twont do, Mr. Nobody! coachmen generally contrived to deBy the powders, it wont !
molish some dozen of sexagenerian Lastly and foremost. We shall lose pedesterians t every twelvemonth. all our old women! Think of that Mr. Aniseed is great fun of an opera night Thingumbob! We shall lose our old for the big-wigs on the boxes; and women as fast as hops !-A friend of even gentlemen-whips have been mine let me into this secret t'other known to practise this interesting day behind a pot of Whitbread. The kind of murder when they wished to blood of all our old beggar women show how quietly they could trot will be on Mr. Macadam's head, if he over an old woman without losing goes on with his pippin-squeezing their balance. I system of streetification ! He will be For all these reasons, Mr. Myguilty of universal aniseed! * In a Friend, and a great many worse ones, few years if the Macadamites should I think Macadamization is very susupplant the Paving-Board, we shall periorly un-preferable to pebblement. not be able to get an old woman for So do all of the profession. We are love or money. Why? - I'll tell you. about to get up an address to the Wont they be sure to be run over Parliament, which is to be calledwherever they are to be found cross- The Pavior's Petition, in which we ing a crossing? When the coaches pray for paving stones, and show and cavalry travel on velvet,—when that the new system of streetification the rattle of a wheel or the tramp of comes under the penalty of the a quodrapid + shall be drowned in the Chalking-Act, being a capital innodust, - will any old woman but a vation upon the long-established cuswitch be able to hear what's coming toms of the country. As for Mr. upon her? When the streets are so Macadam, we are determined to take soft and smack-smooth that one may the law into our own hands, and drive from No. any thing in any stone him the first time we catch his place, to St. Paul's, or to Westmin honour in London. ster, in the tick of a death-watch,
No more at present from your may not a blind beldame of any sex,
loving affectionate age, or condition, be torn from the
Billy O'Rourke, delights of this life and in a manner
Professor of Paving; No. 0, kicked into the middle of the next,
Knave's Acre ; first floor down without so much as “By your leave'
* We thought ourselves tolerable philologists, but this word we acknowledge sets our ingenuity at defiance. We can but offer a conjectural explanation. The Latin for an old woman is anus; whence possibly ani-cide (which our pavior, by a poetical licence we suppose, spells aniseed) may be taken to express-old-woman-killing.--Ed.
+ Sic in MS
# I'd a grand-aunt that was kilt once in this fashion ; she died above twenty years after with the mark of a horse-shoe on her- The gentleman that kilt her gave her a penny.
SIR WALTER SCOTT'S GERMAN NOVEL.
Walladmor. Frei nach dem Englischen des Walter Scott. Von W****s.
Berlin, bei F. A. Herbig. 1824, 3 Bände. “ Freely translated !” Yes, no Jove, as we have said, dispersed to want of freedom! All free and easy! the winds: but to the second impossible to complain on that score. Verily, this is the boldest hoax of
Annuit, et totum nutu tremefecit Olymour times. Most readers we sup
pum. pose have read the mere fact of the Gods and men agreed that there hoax as communicated through the should be a capital hoax-Gods Morning Chronicle, by the late Mr. and men; " et concessere columnæ," Bohte, on his return from the Leipsic and the Leipsic book-stalls abetted fair: for those who have not, we re
A hoax was bespoke in three peat it here.-German booksellers, volumes ; and a hoaxer was bespoke it seems, had come to an agreement,
to make it. And the grave publishone and all, that Sir Walter Scott ers throughout Germany, Moravians was rather tardy in his movements : and all, subscribed for reams of he lay fallow longer than they would hoax. A great Hum was inflated at tolerate. To take two crops off the Leipsic, and went floating over the land in each year—was not suffi- fields of Germany: a noupolvš, or cient. Such slovenly farming was glittering bubble - blown by the not to be endured. And at all events united breath of German Paternosterthere must be a Scotch novel against Row, -ascended as the true balloon. the Leipsic fair; the Jubilate-fair of Bubbled Germany laughed, because 1824; which fair is at Easter. But it knew not that it was a bubble : unfortunately Sir Walter's cycle did and bubbling Germany laughed, benot coincide with that of Leipsic and
cause it knew full well that it was. Frankfort. When Saxony kept her The laugh of welcome was before Easter jubilee, the Scotch press was
it: the cuchinnus of triumph was keeping Lent. The Edinburgh moon,
behind it. They had made a false that so steadily waxes and wanes,
Florimelt of snow; and the false was at that time “ hid in her vacant Florimel went wandering from the interlunar cave:”—but the men of Danube to the Rhine ; and won all Leipsic, and the “ Trade” from hearts, it is said, from the true FloHamburgh to Munich, insisted that rimel. And now at length is the she should be at full. « Shine false Florimel come over to England: out, Sir Walter !” they all ex
and here are we to welcome herclaimed, “and enlighten our dark- scattering gay rhetoric before her ness!” But, as he would not, some
steps as from an Amalthea's horn : body must shine for him.
make way for her therefore in Eng
land : be civil to her, oh! our Fa. Flectere si nequeam Superos, Acheronta thers in the “ Row;" welcome her movebo.
in Albemarle-street: ye constables, The best thing of all the whether spelt with little c's or genuine foreign article, “neat as great C's, keep open the paths for imported;" the second best a home your daughter that comes back to manufacture brought as near in claim a settlement and her rights strength and color as « circum- of affiliation : why must she only stances” would permit. A true be rejected from her father's house? Scotch novel, if possible: if not, a she only be frowned upon by the capital hoax!
gay choir of her sisters ?-Furnace The better half of the prayer- of London criticism! remit thy fires :
Walladmor. Freely translated from the English of Sir Walter Scott. By W****s. Berlin : F. A. Herbig. 1824. 3 Vols. + See the Facrie Quecne, Book 3 and 4.